For this piece of writing I have focusing on my vocabulary and punctuation. I have been learning to: -
- use a range of precise vocabulary to communicate meaning (Year ⅞)
- use all basic punctuation independently and attempt more complex punctuation (eg semicolons, colons, parentheses) (Year 7/8)
The pieces of my writing that are highlighted green are where I have shown my vocabulary and punctuation goal.
My Story: Number 5
As the leafs were falling and the weather getting mildly colder, it was Autumn's favourite time of the year, so she would take advantage of that by taking photos on her Sony camera.
As she was strolling she came across a house she's never taken notice of before. It was an old fashion 2 story house with a massive smash in the window and the door wide open. Their was something about the house that made Autumn drawn to it. So she captured a photo of it. But that wasn't good enough Autumn wanted to see whats inside, If there's anyone in there. So curiosity got the better of her to take a closer look. As she was walking she got more and more nervous.
Once she was opposite the door she peaked inside. Stereotypically If there's a "haunted house" it would be all dusty be messy. But Autumn was so interested she had to look inside. The house was a wreck! There was a table that was flipped over! A singular painting on the floor that had a massive rip in it and other pieces of furniture that had lots of damage. Autumn wanted to take photos, so she got her camera out and took a photo of the casualty. Maybe there was a burglary, or, or this house is actually haunted!! Autumn thought to herself. I could leave right now, but I don't want to, I could capture a photo of an actual ghost! But is it safe? Autumn said to herself. Autumn continued to argue with herself but in the end she told herself to explore and take more photos. Autumn took another step and came across a spiral staircase with a burgandy mat in the centre of it. Autumn makes her way towards the staircase and starts going up it while taking photos. She takes another step but is interrupted by an "excuse me!" Autumn freezes in complete disturbance.
She slowly turns around to be confronted by an old lady with a poka dot scarf, dress, boots and a basket. "May I ask what you're doing here?" The lady asked calmly "I, I, saw your door wide open and I had to explore, I'm sorry!" Autumn cried "hm I must have been robbed as I'm missing to paintings, if only the ghost helped." Autumn froze "g-ghost?" Autumn stuttered. Oh yes, this house has been around since the 1800's! The lady replied. For some reason Autumn didn't feel scared anymore there was something about the lady that didn't feel scary anymore. May I heed the backstory of this house autumn asked curiously. "okay then" replied the lady.
In the 1800's there was a mother and her 5 kids, the dad was nowhere to be found so the mother had to look after the children all on her own. It wasn't easy and she was really struggling, One day people came to whisk the children away as they thought the most wasn't looking after them well enough.
The mother got ever so depressed after that and she never saw her children again, and rarely left the house. She died of old age lonely and depressed. Guests when they come over say they've seen the ghost but I have never!
Autumn was shocked at such a gloomy story but it was getting late so she had to go. "Sorry miss I have to go now." Autumn said "okay by then." The lady said. Autumn couldn't stop thinking about the story when she got home. But she still carried on with er normal life not forgetting about those 5 kids.